a note - i am postponing my new post...
i am being self-analysed for now - re-reading Scott Peck.
it is good. introspection in a National Holiday...
Tuesday 28 October 2008
Monday 20 October 2008
it takes time to heal. i am in day 4. 4 days after the operation.
and i am really well. well and loved. i think i panicked my mother when i fainted a little after the surgery trying to walk in the orange-walled hospital corridor. Fainting is really really bad. it is. It is a little death, but reversed. this needs lots of explaining. Anyhow, now i am back home.
This home is made of love and friendship. Qualities rare to find in my life. I feel sooooo ME here, so relaxed and happy. When i look outside the window, i see masses of green trees and i hear a cock every morning. Just like how it was when i was 4 at my village up North and carefree. All i need is this home. And at a future day maybe my own. this is transit? i don't know/ all i care is that it makes me smile every time i enter the door here.
i have healed. and i don't mean the wound that is too fresh to talk about. itchy too. i have healed from all monstrous thoughts that have been gnawing my heart and my soul the last 10 years, and now i see the obvious; that they were too little to have made me so afraid. now i walk in love.
btw, have you listened to Monika's "AVATAR" CD? Gorgeous.
more to come, tomorrow.
i promise you...
and i am really well. well and loved. i think i panicked my mother when i fainted a little after the surgery trying to walk in the orange-walled hospital corridor. Fainting is really really bad. it is. It is a little death, but reversed. this needs lots of explaining. Anyhow, now i am back home.
This home is made of love and friendship. Qualities rare to find in my life. I feel sooooo ME here, so relaxed and happy. When i look outside the window, i see masses of green trees and i hear a cock every morning. Just like how it was when i was 4 at my village up North and carefree. All i need is this home. And at a future day maybe my own. this is transit? i don't know/ all i care is that it makes me smile every time i enter the door here.
i have healed. and i don't mean the wound that is too fresh to talk about. itchy too. i have healed from all monstrous thoughts that have been gnawing my heart and my soul the last 10 years, and now i see the obvious; that they were too little to have made me so afraid. now i walk in love.
btw, have you listened to Monika's "AVATAR" CD? Gorgeous.
more to come, tomorrow.
i promise you...
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