The time comes.

This is it. It is the red anniversary tonight.
Some minutes have this power; they change lives.
August 19th, some years back - how many years? 6.

This is it. The time comes and you reverse facts, you twist reality, you change your point of view. I did, on and on, i can't do it any more. It has happened. August 19th, 2001. Six wasted years trying to revoke the loss, to stop the bleeding, to glue the heart back. It, what happened, was the last drop of a very negatively-charged glass i was filling. Hatred, fury, depression, anger, losses - they are all the same poison. I can't rebuild my Babylon, i can't just pick up a wand and eradicate the moments that hurt me and tore me apart.

This is it. The time comes, tonight, at 1.30am or so, to sit back, listen to music, i have been building a compilation these last days (totally subconsciously), drink some water - wish i could have some icy white wine, but cannot due to the antibiotics i am taking for that infection last week. I will unwind - not the past, this has already existed. I will unwind this present time, find more time for me, recover better, get out of whatever I can with the fewer losses, try to wake up to now, August 18th 2007. I have grown old, i am wearing my heart the other way, and GOD i will start behaving as I did before that August. The physical pain, the emotional vacuum, the Angst. They will all be gone in a moment's time.

Now is the time. The time to start dreaming again. Even in my 35.