unable to stay silent today

"The kingdom of Heaven is a condition of the heart --not something 
that comes upon the earth or after death."
Nietzsche, Friedrich


i woke up today late and anxious that I might not cope.
Isn't this a shame? I have stopped being the self i knew 10 years
back...

Disasterous how we can take a positive word like "natural evolution"
to talk about something so nasty as giving yourself up...